College Football Three and Out: Week 1

First and 10: Off-season recap

Some things happened.

Second and 15: Predicting the future!

Top-10 Bold Prediction: Alabama starts 0-1 for the first time in 15 years

USC rolls the Tide: 27 - 24.

B1G Bold Prediction: Eastern Kentucky upsets Purdue in opener

Things haven't gone particularly well for the Boilermakers in recent years.  The Colonels are about as soft an opponent as a Power 5 team could ask for, but I think they give Purdue all they can handle and more.  Things go from bad to worse in West Lafayette, as they fall, 22 - 15.

Buckeye Bold Prediction: BGSU limited to 15 or fewer points

Urban Meyer made his coaching debut with the Falcons 15 seasons ago, beating Missouri 20 - 13.  Mike Jinks won't find the same success on Saturday in his first game as the Bowling Green head coach.  They may have had a top 5 offense the past couple of seasons, but the Falcons sputter in the Shoe on Saturday.  Buckeyes show some rust early but eventually cruise to a 35 - 14 win.

Why-not Bold Prediction: Auburn stuns Clemson

Many are picking Clemson to win it all this year.  But I think they hit a road block at Auburn in week 1.  The home team scores the winning touchdown with 15 seconds left, putting a big dent in Clemson's playoff hopes.

Not-so-bold Bold Prediction: UC Davis forces Oregon to punt

I actually feel like it's possible that I get this one wrong... either way, Oregon wins, 64 - 15.

Third and 21: The Edge

Two years ago, we chased a title.  We were almost derailed early on.  But we never lost sight of the final goal.  And at the end, when the confetti cleared, we hoisted the trophy.  Last year, we tried to grind our way to a second title.  Maybe it was the pressure to repeat, or the drama of QBGeddon, or we just plain lost focus after winning so many consecutive games, but it didn't happen.  We fought and clawed our way through a schedule that should have been a breeze.  Until we faced a worthy foe in the Spartans, and The Chase: Part 2 came to a grinding halt.  Our championship dreams were ground down to dust, and in the wind and rain that spat in our face, it was swept away.  We took out our frustration by crushing that team up north, but it was too late.  We would have to wait another year to try again at a playoff run.

Now we stand on the edge of the abyss.  Below is the same place that we sat on the night of November 21, 2015, when the football sailed through the uprights to give Michigan State the 17 - 14 win.  It is mediocrity.  The chasm in front of us is the willingness to give in to just being "good enough".  But on the other side sits greatness.  Across the void is elite.  We can see it.  We can almost reach out and touch it.  So now, we jump.  Don't look down.

Fourth Down: Football Season is here.  Air it out.

College Football Three and Out: 2016 Season

First and 30:  Recapping 2015

A long time ago I made some bold predictions about the 2015 season... let's check back to see how I did:

I was right that we would see new faces at the top of at least 4 of the 5 power conferences, but wrong about Ohio State being the one team to repeat.  Michigan State thwarted the Buckeyes' shot at a repeat B1G championship (and ultimately, a shot at the title) and claimed the crown in Indy and a spot in the playoffs as a result (and proceeded to lay an egg in the Cotton Bowl).  Stanford won the Pac-12, despite losing to the Pac-12 defending champ Oregon Ducks.  Oklahoma beat out both TCU and Baylor in a league ravaged by QB injuries, while Clemson stayed perfect in the regular season to snatch the ACC title away from Florida State.  The one team that did manage to repeat as a Power 5 champ was Alabama, and they made it count, as they went on to claim a fourth national title in seven years.

I was also right that a non-QB would win the Heisman for the first time since 2009.  It wasn't any of the preseason favorites, but by season's end a running back was holding the trophy.  There was some debate over who should have won, but most people agreed that Alabama's Derrick Henry and Stanford's Christian McCaffrey were the two top contenders.  In the end, it was Henry who took home the award, but both running backs had historic seasons.  Clemson QB Deshaun Watson also had a fantastic year, leading the Tigers to a perfect 14-0 record before finally falling to Alabama in the championship game.  Watson finished 3rd in Heisman voting.

I was very wrong about Boise State going undefeated in the regular season.  Although, I was looking pretty smart after saying that their only real challenges would come in the first two weeks... until Mid-October.  They narrowly beat Washington in week 1 and then lost to BYU the following week, but followed it up with 4 straight blowout wins.  And then Utah State came along and delivered a 52 - 26 beat-down to the Broncos.  They would go on to lose a couple more, too, making this prediction a complete bust.

I give myself half credit for predicting that Notre Dame would lose at least three games, but they didn't exactly fall hilariously short of expectations.  They were a couple plays (or maybe just one play) away from creeping into the playoffs, with narrow loses to top tier teams Clemson and Stanford.  And then there was the Fiesta Bowl.

I was feeling pretty confident that Braxton Miller would score every way imaginable, after seeing him tear up Virginia Tech's defense in week 1, recording rushing and receiving touchdowns.  But he was never utilized in a way that made any kind of special teams or passing touchdowns possible.  He took quite a few snaps under center but only threw once, for a three yard completion (what, you don't remember that doozy of a play?).  And Miller never lined up deep to return a punt or kickoff.  He made plenty of electric plays, but this prediction was ultimately no good.

Record: 2.5 - 2.5
Overall 2015 record: 30 - 60
Overall record (2014 - 2015): 67 - 118

Second and 2: Predicting the future!

Top-10 Bold Prediction: Alabama misses the playoff

Most people believe that the Crimson Tide will continue their dominance in college football and make the playoffs for the third straight year (if not win it all).  But I think this is finally the year that Alabama has a bit of a down year.  It has to happen sooner or later, right??  They win the SEC but get left out after suffering two losses.

B1G Bold Prediction: Michigan Regresses

"Remember how great Rich Rodriguez was at Michigan?" is something you'll never hear anyone outside of Columbus say.  And yet, he's the only UM coach to have a better record in their second year than their first since Gary Moeller did it 25 years ago.  Granted, that stat is a bit misleading because of Lloyd Carr's long tenure in Ann Arbor.  Still, I think the hype around the maize and blue this year is a bit premature, and that they will actually take a (small) step back in year 2 under Harbaugh.

Buckeye Bold Prediction: OSU has a quarterback and running back both eclipse 1000 yards

Ohio State hasn't had a QB/RB duo rush for 1000 yards each since 2013, when Braxton Miller and Carlos Hyde terrorized defenses.  But this year, I think there is definite potential to do it again with J.T. Barrett and Mike Weber.  We've already seen what Barrett can do when given the chance, and this year he won't have to worry about looking over his shoulder.  As for Weber, he's drawn comparisons to Hyde, despite being a bit smaller in size.

Why-not Bold Prediction: Group of Five team makes the playoff

If Houston pulls off the upset against Oklahoma in week 1, then all of a sudden this becomes a real possibility.  If not?  Well... there's always Boise State... There aren't too many plausible candidates outside of those two, but who knows?

Not-so-bold Bold Prediction: People disagree with CFP Committee's top 4

Both of the previous seasons in the playoff era have ended with fans calmly reviewing the final rankings, taking a sip of tea, and quietly stating "Well, those seem most appropriate and fair.  This is a splendid set of rankings with which I don't disagree in the slightest.  The selection and ordering is both logical and accurate."

Third and 4: Lessons learned from year 2 of the CFP

The second edition of the College Football Playoff has built on what the first year taught us, and now we're starting to get a better idea of what it takes to make the final four.  It reinforced an idea that any sane follower of the sport always knew to be true: if you play in a Power 5 conference and go undefeated, you'll get a shot.  We've had two such teams in the playoff era: Florida State in 2014 and Clemson last year.  Although the Seminoles dropped as low as 4th in the rankings, and finished 3rd in the committee's final vote, they were never really in danger of missing the big dance.  Still, that didn't stop the ubiquitous voices of the internet from wondering if maybe an undefeated Power 5 team could be left out of the playoffs.  The musings seemed even more justified when Florida State was cracked apart like a pair of crab legs by Oregon in the Rose Bowl.  But Clemson's impressive 14-0 run and competitive match with Alabama in the championship seems to show that the FSU of 2014 was more of the exception, than the rule.

Where it gets more interesting is when you look at one-loss teams.  Both years we've had a lone undefeated team and five one-loss teams coming out of championship week.  That meant that two of the one-loss teams got left out.  But how did the committee decide which two to ditch?  The most obvious explanation is that they chose the outright conference champions.  Both times, that seemed to work out cleanly (though Baylor and TCU fans might disagree).  In 2015, the two teams excluded were Iowa and Ohio State, neither of which won their conference, and both lost to Michigan State, B1G champ and representative in the playoff.  And in 2014, the losers were the aforementioned Bears and Horned Frogs, who shared the Big 12 title.  That's a little more of a grey area, but when you have an undefeated squad and three outright one-loss champs, who each played an additional game against quality competition, the choice seems straightforward.  But are they really getting the four best teams?

Heather Dinich from ESPN wrote an article recently delving into this topic, asking whether the committee should be picking the best teams or the most deserving.  But it's a pointless question.  Both are subjective measurements and when it comes to picking the best, it may not be clear until after the dust of the postseason settles.  It's easy in retrospect to say that TCU was better than Florida State in 2014, or that Stanford was better than Michigan State last year.  But could you have really justified swapping these teams in either case?  The answer is no.

Here's what we can say with confidence:  If you're going to lose a game, make it early on and to someone good (but not too good, unless it's in out-of-conference play).  TCU, Ohio State, and Iowa saw what happened when you lose to someone too good.  Of the six one-loss teams that made the playoff over these first two years, the average win percentage of the team that beat them (before postseason) was .603.  The four one-loss teams that were left out?  They lost to teams with an average win percentage of .840.  So much for the benefit of having a "quality loss" (a term I hate, by the way).  Really, what it comes down to is making sure you win your conference.  Of course, the only real surefire way to make the playoff?  Win all your games.

Fourth down: Time to punt!

My Second Marathon: Pain and Beauty

We sat on the bus in silence as it traveled through the darkness.  All of us felt the weight of what was coming in the hours ahead.  It was a nervousness filled with anticipation.  It was a foreboding quiet.  It was a void that would later be filled with an explosion of sounds and emotions.  There would be cries of pain and cries of joy, cries of disappointment and cries of triumph.  But at this moment we all had a blank canvas in front of us.  And like all great artists we would have to feel pain to create a masterpiece.  We'd each have to draw from deep within ourselves and bare our souls to find out what we're truly capable of.  What was I capable of? I wondered.

The vehicle lurched ahead in the vast emptiness.  Like the unknown of the race ahead, the world outside was still shrouded in mystery.  In the blackness around us, I knew there was great beauty.  And likewise, even though I felt fine at the time, I knew there would be pain.

* * *

The bus stopped.  It was in the middle of a long line of buses that stretched as far as I could see in both directions in the dim light.  I hopped out and joined the endless herd of runners that slowly wove between the buses, towards the front of the parade of vehicles.  I finally reached the starting area, where the air was filled with a nervous energy that is there for any race.  And the feeling is only amplified for marathons.  But I was ready.

The Napa Valley Marathon would be my second race of the 26.2 mile variety.  My first was the Air Force Marathon, where I flew, fought, and won.  I didn't actually win, but I did finish feeling relatively well and with a time under my goal of 4 hours -  by a mere 14 seconds.  This time I was shooting for under 3:40.  I knew 19+ minutes off of my first time would be a challenge, but I was confident that I could do it.  I paced around the starting area, trying to keep warm and trying not to think about goal times and the one million things that could go wrong during the race.

 That was when the sun peered over the mountains and seeped into the valley.  It illuminated the majestic landscape and for the first time I saw the beauty that would surround me for the journey ahead.

Vineyards stretched in all directions.  Mountains sat around us on all sides.  Gnarled trees sprung up here and there.  Palm trees dotted the hillsides and fields.  It was like nothing I had ever seen.  I let the world around me distract me from the worries within, and for a while it worked.  A race coordinator on a megaphone did his part to try to keep us relaxed us well, cracking jokes in between instructions.  At about 6:45, fifteen minutes before race start, he said "On your mark, get set, go!" And we responded to his false start with chuckles and knowing smiles.  And before long we were lining up for the real start.  And in what seemed like no time at all, the National Anthem was sung and we were about to start the countdown.

This is it, I thought.  Time to do this.

10... 9... 8... 7...

No turning back.

6... 5... 4...

Here we go.

3... 2... 1... BANG!

* * *

The first couple of miles were easy, like in any race, and I felt good.  The adrenaline from the start made going out too fast a serious danger.  In a shorter race, like a 5K, you can use that adrenaline to your advantage.  In a marathon it can be your undoing.  I started fast but I kept it under control and got into a comfortable rhythm before too long.

The scenery in the early parts of the race wasn't quite what I expected.  Large portions of this part of the course were wooded.  But once in a while the trees would open up on one side and reveal gorgeous views of the valley.  Vineyards were everywhere and the mountains created an unreal backdrop.  The occasional palm tree could be found jutting up from between the rows of grapevines.  It was truly breath-taking.

At the first water-stop, about 2 miles in, a volunteer shouted to us: "24 miles to go!"  I smiled and replied, "Oh, is that all?" and several other runners around me laughed nervously.  It was the only way to respond to the knowledge that we still had that much further to go.  Just 24 miles.  Only 126,720 feet.  A mere 1.5 million inches. All we could is laugh.

My knee started to bother me sooner than I hoped.  It wasn't bad - just a light twinge that worsened on downhills.  I relished the uphills in those first five or six miles (the irony of that would not be lost on me 15 miles later).  Though my knee didn't hurt too much early on, I knew how quickly a small annoyance could turn into agonizing pain.  My fear was that the pain would slowly worsen over the length of the race, until I could no longer go on.  I pushed the thought to the back of my mind and kept running.

Gradually, the trees thinned out and the hills lessened, as the course continued down the center of the valley.  Mountains stood on both sides, with grapevines and mustard plants filling all the spaces in-between.  I entered the middle miles of the race - where the scenery started to become a blur and the miles ran together.  Any pain or discomfort was still minor, and so I emptied my mind and just ran.  And ran.  And ran.

* * *

13.1 miles.  Halfway.  Near the beginning of the race I overheard some advice a man was giving to his running partner.  He said to just think about the marathon as two half-marathons - finish the first 13.1 miles and then you just had a half-marathon to complete.  I had done the first half, and still felt pretty good.  So, I just had to finish the second one now.  No problem, right?

I picked up the pace a little for mile 14, but it didn't last.  For miles 15 and 16 I still felt OK, but it was getting harder.  My feet hurt.  My legs were getting heavier.  It was also getting hotter and there had been no escape from the sun since around mile 6.  I was taking water at every aid station but my own supply of Nuun (an electrolyte drink) was starting to run low.  I tried to stretch it out the best I could, but I grew more and more thirsty as the sun beat down and the miles wore on.

That's when I saw the cow - up on a hillside not far from the road.  Green with pink polka-dots.  Or was it pink with green polka-dots?  I did a double-take, but my eyes had not deceived me.  I smiled for the first time in several miles and ran on.

I passed a sign that listed multiple towns with mileage and arrows pointing cars in the right direction for each.

Straight ahead: Napa - 10 miles (The race finished in the town of Napa)
To the right: Yountville - 2 miles

I asked the few runners around me if anyone wanted to go to Yountville instead of Napa and was met with silence.  I ran on.  And on.  And on.

* * *

My Nuun was gone.  I checked my watch: 6 miles left.  Everything hurt.  Every step felt like a battle against the overwhelming force of gravity.  I pushed on.

I could still make my goal time if I didn't slow down too much.  I felt my pace slowing and tried to fight it.  But I had too many foes: gravity, my watch, the sun, the miles, the hills, dehydration, exhaustion, pain, myself.

I told myself I could still do it.  I could still finish in 3:40.  Why did I tell everyone my goal was 3:40?  I could still do it.  I pushed on.  And on.  And on.

Mile marker 22.  I was starting to lose hope that I could make my goal time.  I had slowed down considerably.  Each step was harder than the last.  I fought every temptation to stop and give up.  I would not give up.

23.  It was too hard.  I did the math in my head and was almost certain I could not make 3:40.  But I would not give in.  I still told myself I could do it.  I pushed on despite being completely exhausted.  Every part of me ached.  Every time my shoes slapped the pavement I winced in pain as the impact reverberated through my body.  Every breath didn't quite seem good enough.  Every minute felt like hours.  I wanted to be done.

I checked my watch often.  I passed mile marker 24.  I dragged on.  24.3.  And on.  24.7.  And on.

I reached mile 25.  Finally.  I knew then that I couldn't make 3:40.  It was impossible.  The realization was slow and agonizing, like how the last 5 miles had felt.  But I was finally certain that my goal time was out of reach.  I didn't care.  I just wanted to be done.  I wanted to lie down and not move for days.  But I kept going.  Even though every part of my body and mind told me to stop, screamed at me to end this madness, I continued on.  I slowed my pace substantially, and took a couple of minute-long walk breaks (twice my normal duration), but I kept pushing forward.

There were several around me struggling too.  I offered some words of encouragement and kept on moving.

For the first time in many miles, I noticed the scenery, because it was changing drastically.  I was entering Napa.  Trees and houses began popping up closer to the road.  The course took several turns as it came into town.  I hurt all over but I knew the end was near.

Mile 26.  Almost there.  Soon I could rest.  I just had to keep going a little longer.

I turned a corner and then saw something more beautiful than anything I had seen all day: the finish line.  I locked in straight ahead and ran until it was upon me.  Another beautiful sight to my right: my wife, cheering me on.  I looked at her and tried to smile and then gave one final push to reach the finish.

I crossed the timing mats, stopped my watch, and closed my eyes.

* * *

I felt someone take my hand and lead me slowly forward.  My legs wobbled as I walked gingerly ahead.

I opened my eyes.  I closed my eyes.

"How are you doing?  Let's keep moving," a voice said.  Everything felt fuzzy and I had to focus on staying upright.

I opened my eyes.  Someone put a medal around my neck.  I closed my eyes.

"Smile," someone else said.  I opened my eyes and grinned.  The camera snapped.  I closed my eyes.

"Have some water," said the first voice.  I opened my eyes.  I took the water.  I closed my eyes.  I gulped down the whole thing.

We kept walking slowly forward.

"Are you OK?"  asked the voice.  I nodded, eyes still closed.  I was not OK but it was all I could do just to give some kind of answer.  My brain was not able to determine that the correct response would have been to shake my head.

I opened my eyes.  My wife was there, on the other side of a chain-link fence.  She congratulated me and asked if I was alright.  I again nodded.  I closed my eyes and clung to the fence for support.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"I just need to sit down," I said.  And I plopped down on the pavement, still clinging to the fence.  Eyes still closed.

I sat there for a while.  Not moving, not even opening my eyes.  Just focusing all my energy on keeping somewhat upright and conscious.

The woman who had guided me away from the finish line left me with my wife, who was becoming more concerned.  I maintained that I was OK.

I tried to stand and walk, still using the fence to balance myself.

I opened my eyes.  I closed my eyes.

My wife got another runner's attention, and asked him to get a medic.

I finally conceded that I maybe wasn't OK.  The medic asked me what was wrong and I tried to put it into words.

"I feel... dizzy," I said.  It wasn't exactly right, but I think he got the picture.

"Does anything hurt?" he asked me.  I had just run a marathon.  The question seemed absurd.

"My legs?" I answered.

He took me inside the medical tent and I was immediately helped by several nurses and doctors.  They brought me to a bed and had me lie down on my back.  Two nurses lifted my legs into the air and I felt an explosion of sensation in my upper-body as the blood rushed back into my head.  A tingling sensation remained, from my head to my fingertips.

"Did you see that?" asked one of the nurses.  "He just went from white to pink."

The medical staff then helped me recover from the severe dehydration I was suffering from, by bringing me Gatorade, soup, bananas, and bread, among other things.  

At one point, I noticed a man come in for medical help because of an injury to his lower leg.  There was blood running down his calf from a nasty wound.  They asked what happened, and he explained that he tripped and sliced his leg open before the race.

"And you still ran the race?"  They asked him.

"Yeah."

"The whole thing?"

"Yeah."

They sent him away, telling him that he needed to go to the hospital right away, and would almost certainly need stitches.  After he left, the nurses looked at each other in disbelief.

Over time, I started to get the feeling back in my fingers, arms, torso, and head.  Eventually, I could walk, with some help.  And then, a bit later, on my own.  I finally felt well enough to leave their care and thanked them before leaving the tent to find my wife, who was waiting outside anxiously.

As soon as I stepped out of the tent, the sky opened up and poured down endless waves of rain on us.  The world had turned raw, exposed, and vulnerable and it seemed to mirror my own feelings at that time.

The marathon had whittled me down to my core.  All the layers from the different facets of my life had been ripped away in those 26.2 miles.  And what was left was just me.  Raw and alive.  It didn't matter that I missed my goal time by nearly 4 minutes.  I fought against my doubts and finished the race when it seemed impossible, and with what I thought was still a damn good time: 3:43:51 - Sixteen minutes off my first marathon.  But in the end, the time didn't matter.  I challenged myself and did something real.  Instead of experiencing the world through the lens of work and worries and social media and television and so on, I was simply alive in the world.  I was more alive than ever.  And being out there, with hundreds others, I was a part of something.  We conquered the 26.2 miles together and we were alive.

* * *

March Badness : Monster Madness - The Championship

This is it: the final showdown of ultimate monsters.  Evil clown versus vicious alien.  The manifestation of childhood fears vs the horrific spawn from the planet Acheron LV-426.  Pennywise vs The Xenomorph.  This is March Badness : Monster Madness - The Championship.  Warning: The clips below include spoilers as well as graphic and disturbing content.

ICYMI:
March Badness 2015
Explanation / list of contenders
Empty bracket
Round 1
Round 2
Sour 16
Evil 8
Ferocious 4

Pennywise (It) vs The Xenomorph (Alien)

The best way to judge these two is to watch them in action.  First, we're introduced to Pennywise the Dancing Clown.  Poor little Georgie has lost his boat - but don't worry, Pennywise is there to help...

Next, we meet the Xenomorph.  Kane sites down to a nice meal with his crew mates when he starts to feel an unpleasant sensation in his stomach.  No, it's not indigestion - it's something else...

But the Xenomorph isn't the only one who knows how to make a dramatic entrance.  Eddie is taking a shower when a certain clown decides to interrupt.

Pennywise is pretty horrifying, but the Xenomorph is no stranger to terror either.  And it's quite a bit bigger than it was the last time we saw it.  Brett is looking for Jonesy, the cat, when he gets a nasty surprise.

The kids of Derry are looking through an old album when they get a surprise of their own.  "I'll kill you all! Ha Ha! I'll drive you crazy and I'll kill you all! I'm every nightmare you've ever had! I am your worst dream come true! I'm everything you ever were afraid of!"



Through all that has happens on the Nostromo, Dallas remains calm.  But all of that changes when he enters the air ducts to go looking for the alien...

OK.  Time for closing arguments.  Pennywise ends by proving he's not just a thing of childhood imagination, by tormenting grown-up Richie.



The Xenomorph finishes by taking out two of the remaining three crew members as they try to make preparations for their escape.  Ripley tries desperately to get there in time, but is too late to save them.

And the winner is...

The Xenomorph

With acid blood, a second mouth, a pointy tail, and just an overall awesomeness that can't be denied, the Xenomorph is the ultimate monster.

The Bracket

Here's what the final bracket looks like:

March Badness : Monster Madness - Ferocious 4

ICYMI:
March Badness 2015
Explanation / list of contenders
Empty bracket
Round 1
Round 2
Sour 16
Evil 8

Pale Man (Pan's Labyrinth) vs Pennywise (It)

Pale Man is a mythical creature in a fantastic world - a world that we're not sure exists outside the mind of Amelie, the film's protagonist.  But the danger surely seems real as she desperately tries to escape the monster's lair while her fairy helpers are mercilessly devoured by the ghoulish beast.  And even though the encounter takes up a relatively small portion of the story, the image of the Pale Man sticks with you for some time.  But still, his overall impact does not compare to that of the terrifying clown from It.  Pennywise is not only the star of the book and movie, but has made a lasting impression on our culture and forever changed how we view clowns.  Sure, there was always the possibility of a kid being frightened by a clown, the same way he or she might be scared of Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny.  But a fear of clowns has become relatively common for many adults today, thanks to Pennywise.

Winner: Pennywise

The Brundlefly (The Fly) vs The Xenomorph (Alien)

The mutation of Seth Brundle from man to fly was certainly gross and quite disturbing at times, but the Xenomorph has a dark presence that can't be denied.  From the moment the alien ripped through the chest of a crew member of the Nostromo you knew it was a special kind of monster.  The Brundlefly is disgusting but the Xenomorph is horrifying.

Winner: The Xenomorph 

The Bracket

March Badness : Monster Madness - Evil 8

We may be over halfway through April, but March Badness is still in full swing.  We're getting down to only the most vicious and hideous monsters.  Who will survive the Evil 8?

ICYMI:
March Badness 2015
Explanation / list of contenders
Empty bracket
Round 1
Round 2
Sour 16

Pale Man (Pan's Labyrinth) vs Velociraptors (Jurassic Park)

The clip below is all we see of Pale Man, but it's enough.



Why couldn't she just leave the food on the table alone?!  The Velociraptors are vicious creatures but Pale Man is a true monstrosity.

Winner: Pale Man

Frankenstein's monster (Frankenstein) vs Pennywise (It)

Frankenstein's monster has undeniable charm and a timeless presence among the best beasts of film and literature.  However, he slightly lacks in the spine-tingling, goosebump-inducing department, at least compared to a terrifying villain like Pennywise.

Winner: Pennywise

The Bugs (Starship Troopers) vs The Brundlefly (The Fly)

A story of the Brundlefly, in gif form...

Eating:

Personal grooming:

Eating?

Laughing:

Getting ready for a night out on the town:

Winner: The Brundlefly

The Xenomorph (Alien) vs Jaws (Jaws)

Jaws is a legendary beast from a great film and it takes just two notes from that classic theme music for anyone to instantly get chills.  But the Xenomorph is an otherworldly creature that gives you more than chills.  The alien causes death and destruction beyond what Jaws is capable of, and it does so in a terrifyingly violent manner.

Winner: The Xenomorph 

The Bracket

Here's where we stand after narrowing the contenders down to 4 vile monsters:

March Badness : Monster Madness - Sour 16

It's time to separate the real monsters from the childish ghouls and bad CG knockoffs. This is the Sour 16.

ICYMI:
March Badness 2015
Explanation / list of contenders
Round 1
Round 2

Pale Man (Pan's Labyrinth) vs Stripe (Gremlins)

Pale Man is definitely a real monster. Stripe is fun but not nearly as terrifying as his opponent.

Winner: Pale Man

The birds (The Birds) vs Velociraptors (Jurassic Park)

The birds are scary, but the thought of a velociraptor disemboweling you with one slash of its claw is scarier.

Winner: Velociraptors

Audrey II (Little Shop of Horrors) vs Frankenstein's monster (Frankenstein)

Get your pitchforks. Audrey II is good for a laugh, but Frankenstein's monster is the real deal.

Winner: Frankenstein's monster

Pennywise (It) vs The Balrog (Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring)

There are countless adults who still have an irrational fear of clowns to this day because of Pennywise.  Sorry, did I say "irrational"?

Winner: Pennywise

Flukeman (The X-Files) vs The Bugs (Starship Troopers)

There are a few different varieties of Bugs from Starship Troopers and they all impress in one way or another.  Flukeman is creepy but doesn't pose the kind of threat that the Bugs do.

Winner: The Bugs

The Nothing (The Neverending story) vs The Brundlefly (The Fly)

The slow transformation of Seth Brundle into the Brundlefly is disturbingly gross.  The visual aspect of that ordeal trumps the power of the Nothing.

Winner: The Brundlefly

The Rancor (Star Wars: Return of the Jedi) vs The Xenomorph (Alien)

The Rancor is cool, but too easily defeated.  By contrast, the Xenomorph is a very tough and even cooler creature that causes all kinds of nightmares for anyone who encounters it.

Winner: The Xenomorph

Hybrid spiders (Arachnophobia) vs Jaws (Jaws)

The spiders from Arachnophobia might be the biggest surprise of the tournament so far.  But the Cinderella story ends here, as they are just no match for a classic killer like Jaws.

Winner: Jaws

The Bracket

Here's what the bracket looks like at the conclusion of the Sour 16 match-ups: