March Badness: Monster Madness - Round 2

Things are getting interesting in March Badness.  Who made the Sour 16?  Find out below.

ICYMI:
March Badness 2015
Explanation / list of contenders
Round 1

Bioraptors (Pitch Black) vs Pale Man (Pan's Labyrinth)

Even though the Bioraptors are the main monsters of Pitch Black and Pale Man is only a small part of Pan's Labyrinth, there's just something about the latter that is extremely unnerving.  Maybe it's the eyeballs in the palms of his hands, or the gross, wrinkly skin.  Whatever it is, Pale Man is just too disturbingly vile to ignore, even against the cool Bioraptors.

Winner: Pale Man

Stripe (Gremlins) vs Pinhead (Hellraiser)

Both are very original, but Pinhead is a bit too human-like.  Stripe shows some personality, but he's definitely more monster than man and that makes the difference in this match-up.

Winner: Stripe

The birds (The Birds) vs The Basilisk (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

If I had the choice of facing the birds or a Basilisk, it'd really be no contest - I'd take my chances against the birds without hesitation.  However, there's something to be said for the birds' power to intimidate and threaten just by being there.  It's this power that gives them the victory.

Winner: The birds

Velociraptors (Jurassic Park) vs Mothra (Mothra)

The raptors are cunning and sneaky, and that makes the difference here.  Mothra is a giant moth.

Winner: Velociraptors

Audrey II (Little Shop of Horrors) vs The Crawlers (The Descent)

Audrey II is just too much fun.  I mean she (or is it a he?) bullies and manipulates Seymour into doing horrible things, all so Audrey II can keep getting bigger and stronger.  The Crawlers just don't compare.

Winner: Audrey II

T-Rex (Jurassic Park) vs Frankenstein's monster (Frankenstein)

I like the big dinosaur from Jurassic Park, but Frankenstein's monster is in a league of his own.

Winner: Frankenstein's monster

Sharptooth (The Land Before Time) vs Pennywise (It)

The killer clown took down Predator in round one.  That's bad news for Sharptooth.

Winner: Pennywise

The Balrog (Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring) vs Gamera (Gamera)

Both have fiery powers, but the Balrog is a demonic beast and Gamera is a giant turtle.  I'm tempted to go with the turtle, but... I'm not sure I could really justify it.

Winner: The Balrog

The Kraken (Clash of the Titans) vs Flukeman (The X-Files)

Beasts of the sea (or sewer, in Flukeman's case) do battle here.  In an actual fight, the Kraken would almost certainly win, but Flukeman's creepiness gives him the upset win.

Winner: Flukeman

The Bugs (Starship Troopers) vs The Sarlacc (Star Wars: Return of the Jedi)

To avoid getting killed by the Bugs, you need some serious firepower.  To avoid getting killed by the Sarlacc, you just avoid its mouth.  The Sarlacc is cool, but the Bugs win this one.

Winner: The Bugs

Graboids (Tremors) vs The Nothing (The Neverending story)

The Graboids may eat humans and other animals, but the Nothing destroys everything in its path, literally creating more of itself.

Winner: The Nothing

King Kong (King Kong) vs The Brundlefly (The Fly)

Can a mutated fly-man take down the king?  Upset special: yes he can!

Winner: The Brundlefly

The Rancor (Star Wars: Return of the Jedi) vs The Blair Witch (The Blair Witch Project)

The Blair Witch can get by on spookiness surrounding her for only so long.  To fairly judge a monster, I've got to be able to see it.  I can see the Rancor, in all it's ugly glory, and so it wins this contest.

Winner: The Rancor

The Xenomorph (Alien) vs The Crites (Critters)

The Crites are mischevious but the Xenomorph is truly monstrous and a great blend of scary and cool.

Winner: The Xenomorph

Rhedosaurus (The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms) vs Hybrid spiders (Arachnophobia)

I'd take my chances with the dinosaur.

Winner: Hybrid spiders

Jaws (Jaws) vs Godzilla (Godzilla)

Two classics face off here.  Godzilla does more damage and seems a bit angrier, but Jaws' theme music gives him the slight edge.

Winner: Jaws

The Bracket

Here's where we are after two rounds:

March Badness: Monster Madness - Round 1

The wait is over... Round 1 March Badness: Monster Madness results are in.

ICYMI: Explanation / list of contenders

Bioraptors (Pitch Black) vs Leonard Betts (The X-Files)

Betts was creepy, and his regenerative powers were pretty cool.  But the monsters that lurked in the darkness of the alien world in Pitch Black were more powerful and terrifying than the mutant from X-Files.

Winner: Bioraptors

Pale Man (Pan's Labyrinth) vs The Hydra (Hercules)

Pale Man is a terrifying new creation, while the Hydra is a creature of mythological origin.  The newcomer has the edge, in my opinion, as Pale Man is just plain freaky.

Winner: Pale Man

Stripe (Gremlins) vs Terror Dogs (Ghostbusters)

Vicious creatures face off here in a fun round one match-up.  Both Stripe and the terror dogs underwent a transformation to reach their final state.  But the fact that Stripe was mischievous even in his "cute" phase and eventually became the leader of an entire army of gremlins makes the difference here.

Winner: Stripe

Rodan (Rodan) vs Pinhead (Hellraiser)

Two very different monsters go head-to-head here.  Rodan is a giant flying reptile, while Pinhead is the leader of extra-dimensional creatures who travel to earth to harvest souls.  Pinhead wins this one, despite the marvelous personality of Rodan.

Winner: Pinhead

The birds (The Birds) vs Fluffy (Harry Potter)

The looming presence of the birds creates a feeling of uneasiness that is not easily topped.  They may not be flashy, but the birds have a classic appeal and a clear advantage over the three-headed dog.

Winner: The birds

Monstro (Pinocchio) vs The Basilisk (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

Giant whale vs giant serpent.  This time, the Harry Potter beast is the one with the advantage, as I just like the Basilisk better.

Winner:The Basilisk

Eugene Victor Tooms (The X-Files) vs Velociraptors (Jurassic Park)

Tooms is spooky, but the raptors are vicious and brutal killers.  They get the nod here.

Winner: Velociraptors

Mothra (Mothra) vs Mr Hyde (Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde)

It's a giant moth!

Winner: Mothra

Audrey II (Little Shop of Horrors) vs Clover (Cloverfield)

Clover does some serious damage to New York, but doesn't have a personality like Audrey II's. An evil plant that sings and eats people is just too good to pass up.

Winner: Audrey II

The Crawlers (The Descent) vs The Thing (The Thing)

I haven't seen The Descent, but I've seen a picture of a Crawler (above).

Winner: The Crawlers

T-Rex (Jurassic Park) vs Aragog (Harry Potter)

Though Aragog, a giant spider, is pretty terrifying to look at, he never actually harms anyone.  The T-Rex from Jurassic Park, on the other hand, eats his share of people.

Winner: T-Rex

Frankenstein's monster (Frankenstein) vs Werewolves (The Wolf Man, The Werewolf, An American Werewolf in London)

Both are classics, but I have to go with Frankenstein's monster here.

Winner: Frankenstein's monster

Sharptooth (The Land Before Time) vs Chernabog (Fantasia)

Chernabog may be the embodiment of evil, but Sharptooth goes after some adorable little dinos despite the fact that they would provide very little nutritional value to him.

Winner: Sharptooth

Pennywise (It) vs The Predator (Predator)

Evil clown or deadly alien hunter?  This is the first really tough decision in the tournament because I could see either of these creatures making a deep run, given the opportunity.  But only one can advance past round one.  Pennywise earns the victory here, based on his overwhelming creepiness.

Winner: Pennywise

The Balrog (Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring) vs Gmork (The Neverending story)

Flames: check.  Horns: check.  Awesomeness: check.  Gmork just doesn't match-up well here.

Winner: The Balrog

Christine (Christine) vs Gamera (Gamera)

Can Christine do this?

Winner: Gamera

Aquatic alien (The Faculty) vs The Kraken (Clash of the Titans)

Who's king of the water?  It has to be the Kraken.

Winner: The Kraken

Flukeman (The X-Files) vs The Blob (The Blob)

Somehow it's just hard to be too worried about a blob.

Winner: Flukeman

The Sandworms (Beetlejuice) vs The Bugs (Starship Troopers)

It would be bad enough to face one of the aliens from Starship Troopers, however, they often show up in endless waves.  The Sandworms are fun but they can't compete with the Bugs.

Winner: The Bugs

The Sarlacc (Star Wars: Return of the Jedi) vs Cesare (The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari)

You only see the mouth, but it's enough to know you don't want to go near the Sarlacc.

Winner: The Sarlacc

Giant crocodile (Lake Placid) vs Graboids (Tremors)

Graboids get the win based purely on originality.  I mean, giant worms with slightly smaller worms coming out of their mouths?  Giant crocodile, come back when you have smaller crocodiles coming out of your mouth.

Winner: Graboids

Ghosts (misc.) vs The Nothing (The Neverending story)

There are a lot of "good" evil spirits out there, but there's only one Nothing.

Winner: The Nothing

The Headless Horseman (The Legend of Sleepy Hollow) vs King Kong (King Kong)

This giant ape is not to be trifled with.

Winner: King Kong

Gill-man (The Creature from the Black Lagoon) vs The Brundlefly (The Fly)

One look at the Brundlefly would send anyone running screaming, even Gill-man.

Winner: The Brundlefly

Imhotep (The Mummy) vs The Rancor (Star Wars: Return of the Jedi)

The Rancor would gulp down Imhotep in one bite... maybe two.

Winner: The Rancor

Orcs (Lord of the Rings) vs The Blair Witch (The Blair Witch Project)

Parodies aside, who wasn't terrified the first time they watched The Blair Witch Project?

Winner: The Blair Witch

The Xenomorph (Alien) vs Zombies (Misc.)

Zombies are cool, but they just don't compare to the awesome creature from Alien.

Winner: The Xenomorph

Giant anaconda (Anaconda) vs The Crites (Critters)

The Crites have enough razor sharp teeth to make this not even a contest.

Winner: The Crites

Giant sharks (Deep Blue Sea) vs Rhedosaurus (The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms)

The giant sharks have the power of computer graphics, while the Rhedosaurus is really old school.  I've got to go with the classic here.

Winner: Rhedosaurus

The Silence (Doctor Who) vs Hybrid spiders (Arachnophobia)

Spiders win in a landslide.  Sorry, alien dudes.

Winner: Hybrid spiders

Jaws (Jaws) vs Cujo (Cujo)

All these other giant animals should take note of how Jaws, a true terror, does it.  Cujo is a menace but Jaws is a classic.

Winner: Jaws

Godzilla (Godzilla) vs Reavers (Firefly)

To most people, Reavers are terrifying, blood-thirsty killers.  To Godzilla?  Finger food.

Winner: Godzilla

The Bracket

After the first round, here's where we stand:

March Badness: Monster Madness

Some of them go bump in the night.  Some don't make a sound.  Others destroy cities.  But all the best monsters have a few things in common: the first time you see them, you get goosebumps.  You want to look away, but you can't.  Of course, you're rooting for the good guys to win (you are, right?) but you still can't help but enjoy when a superbly evil creature goes on a rampage.  This is March Badness: Monster Madness.

Last year was just the beginning.  The Joker was crowned the "Ultimate Baddie" in an epic tournament of villains.  This year, it's all about the monsters.  Whether alien, supernatural, man-made, or a freak of nature, I'm looking for the best of the beasts: the ugliest, meanest, most monstrous monstrosity.

The structure is the same as last year.  I have compiled a list of 64 monsters from film, literature, and television, and randomly seeded them in a single-elimination tourney for the ages.  I will select winners of each round, which will correspond (more or less) with the timing of the NCAA tournament.  This is all subjective, of course, so I welcome you to join in the fun and fill out your own bracket along with me.  I just ask that if you do share or comment, please be mindful of spoilers.  With that out of the way, let the badness begin!

The Contenders

Bioraptors (Pitch Black)

You're safe in the daylight.  But as soon as the lights go out, you better watch out.  These things are ugly and even meaner than they look.

Leonard Betts (The X-Files)

The first of several X-Files monsters on this list.  Betts appears to be a normal person until he gets decapitated and his headless body starts killing...

Pale Man (Pan's Labyrinth)

A thing of pure nightmares.  Even though he only has a few minutes of screen time, his ghastly image haunts you well after the movie ends.

The Hydra (Hercules)

When one head just isn't enough.

Stripe (Gremlins)

How could something that started off so cute and cuddly end up being so mean and ugly?

Terror Dogs (Ghostbusters)

Zuul and Vinz Clortho.  Gatekeeper and Keymaster.  Yikes and yikes.

Rodan (Rodan)

Like Godzilla, but with wings.

Pinhead (Hellraiser)

The name says it all. He's got pins in his head. That's messed up, am I right?

The birds (The Birds)

How much harm could one or two (or a thousand) little ol' birds do?

Fluffy (Harry Potter)

Hagrid has a tendency of collecting extremely dangerous animals as pets.  Fluffy, a giant, three-headed dog, is no exception.

Monstro (Pinocchio)

"He's a whale of a whale!"

The Basilisk (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

Don't look directly into this giant serpent's eyes, else you be killed instantly.

Eugene Victor Tooms (The X-Files)

Tooms is a mutant who can stretch and elongate himself to fit through tight passages.  He uses this ability in order to kill people and eat their livers.  And to creep us the hell out.

Velociraptors (Jurassic Park)

Vicious and intelligent.  The tyrannosaurus may get more publicity, but the raptors are the true evil of the park.

Mothra (Mothra)

It's a giant moth.  Do with that what you will.

Mr Hyde (Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde)

You think you know a guy, then he transforms into a madman and kills you.

Audrey II (Little Shop of Horrors)

"Feed me, boy! Feed me now!"

Clover (Cloverfield)

The unknown can be scary, as the monster from Cloverfield proved.  We don't get a good look at the menace terrorizing New York until late in the movie.

The Crawlers (The Descent)

When Spelunking goes oh-so-wrong.

The Thing (The Thing)

How do you fight something that can look like anything?

T-Rex (Jurassic Park)

Big, loud, and very hungry.

Aragog (Harry Potter)

Another one of Hagrid's pets. Aragog is a giant spider. Need I say more?

Frankenstein's monster (Frankenstein)

A true classic.  Although really, I think he's just misunderstood.

Werewolves (The Wolf Man, The Werewolf, An American Werewolf in London)

Another classic supernatural being.  There are many different versions, but the key takeaways are the same.  Avoid full moons.  And always keep some silver bullets on hand just in case.

Sharptooth (The Land Before Time)

A Tyrannosaurus out for vengeance.

Chernabog (Fantasia)

This demon is the god of evil and death.

Pennywise (It)

A killer clown that lives in the sewers and comes up to hunt children.  No, thank you.

The Predator (Predator)

This alien travels the galaxy hunting species of other worlds for sport.  He also has some really cool gadgets and will blow himself up, if it comes to it.

The Balrog (Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring)

This creature can wield shadow and flame, and looks pretty awesome doing it.

Gmork (The Neverending story)

This giant wolf serves the Nothing and will do anything to kill the film's protagonist, Atreyu.

Christine (Christine)

A 1958 Plymouth Fury that comes alive and kills people.  Because why not?

Gamera (Gamera)

It's a giant turtle that can fly and shoot flames out of its arm and leg cavities.  That pretty much sums it up.

Aquatic alien (The Faculty)

The most terrifying part about the aliens from The Faculty is their ability to crawl inside someone's head and control them.

The Kraken (Clash of the Titans)

"Release the Kraken!"  That never gets old.

Flukeman (The X-Files)

Flukeman is a genetically mutated beast that inhabits the sewers and is generally horrifying.

The Blob (The Blob)

This alien life-form digests organic material on contact, growing bigger with everything (and everyone) it devours.

The Sandworms (Beetlejuice)

"Whoa, Sandworms. Ya hate 'em right? I HATE 'EM MYSELF!"

The Bugs (Starship Troopers)

"The only good Bug is a dead Bug!"

The Sarlacc (Star Wars: Return of the Jedi)

"In its belly, you will find a new definition of pain and suffering as you are slowly digested over a thousand years."

Cesare (The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari)

Cesare is the monster of one of the very first horror films ever made, so he has to be here.  Though you could argue that Caligari is the true "monster" as he controls Cesare and instructs him to kill.

Giant crocodile (Lake Placid)

Want to come face to face with a crocodile? No?  How about a 30 ft long crocodile?

Graboids (Tremors)

These giant, carnivorous worms hunt by sensing seismic vibrations.  So, tread lightly, OK?

Ghosts (misc.)

There are too many different variations on evil spirits to put them all in the tournament, so they hold one collective spot here.

The Nothing (The Neverending story)

It's literally nothing, and will cause all life and existence to cease if it wins.  What's scarier than that?

The Headless Horseman (The Legend of Sleepy Hollow)

No head? No problem.

King Kong (King Kong)

A giant ape with a soft spot for a pretty face.

Gill-man (The Creature from the Black Lagoon)

Another monster with a thing for human chicks.  But dating is tough when you look like Gill-man.

The Brundlefly (The Fly)

"Help me! Help me!"

Imhotep (The Mummy)

One simple spell and he can stop your heart.

The Rancor (Star Wars: Return of the Jedi)

What kind of pet do you have when you're a giant slug?  A Rancor.  The answer is Rancor.

Orcs (Lord of the Rings)

Armies of these creatures stand between the heroes of Middle-earth and victory.  I think I would have just given up.

The Blair Witch (The Blair Witch Project)

You never really see the Blair Witch, but it doesn't make her any less terrifying.

The Xenomorph (Alien)

Where do I start?  The second mouth?  The acid blood?  The "birthing" process?

Zombies (Misc.)

Slow-moving, frail, and unintelligent.  Weak monster, right? Remember that when there's a horde of undead closing in and you've just run out of ammo...

Giant anaconda (Anaconda)

I didn't say these are all from good movies, just that they're terrifyingly awesome monsters, ok?

The Crites (Critters)

They're basically little, demonic furballs.

Giant sharks (Deep Blue Sea)

It's amazing how many of these are just normal animals, but super-sized.

Rhedosaurus (The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms)

Before Godzilla, there was the Rhedosaurus.

The Silence (Doctor Who)

Creepy alien dudes in suits.  At least they're trying?

Hybrid spiders (Arachnophobia)

What happens when you breed a deadly Amazonian spider with a domestic house spider?  You don't want to know - trust me.

Jaws (Jaws)

*cue Jaws music*

Cujo (Cujo)

A rabid dog, on the loose, and out for blood.

Godzilla (Godzilla)

The original city-destroying monster.

Reavers (Firefly)

Protocol dictates that you shoot anyone being captured by Reavers, to save them from unspeakable horrors.  And then you run. Run far away.

The Bracket

Download here (I suggest using landscape orientation if you wish to print a hard copy).

College Football Bowl Season Recap

Long overdue, but here's how I did on my bowl predictions:

1. Hark! The Houston Cougars win

Tom Herman made a statement in his first year at Houston, and that statement was: watch out for the Cougars.  Houston dominated Florida State through the first half, and held on to win 38 - 24 in a game that wasn't even really that close.  The victory resulted in a

2. On the first day of '16 OK State will surely see a victory over coach Freeze

The only thing Oklahoma State saw was Chad Kelly scoring touchdowns. The Rebels rolled to a 48 - 20 victory in the Sugar Bowl, which should help erase memories from last year's self-destruction against TCU in the Peach Bowl.

3. Do you see what I see?  Fifteen, fifteen, gashing Notre Dame; With another two hundred in a game;  With another two hundred in a game

Zeke had a big game, but it wasn't quite enough to make this prediction good.  A depleted Notre Dame defense just had no answers when it came to slowing down #15 or #16, as the Buckeyes moved the ball with relative ease all game long.  They found some success on offense, especially with star Joey Bosa ejected from the game for a targeting call in the first quarter.  It was a disappointing end to a stellar career, but I couldn't disagree with the call (whether or not the rule is good as it stands is another matter and not one I want to delve into at the moment). Still, Ohio State cruised to a big win, 44 - 28.

4. I'm dreaming of a Hawkeye bowl win, just like the ones I used to know;  Where the linemen clash and the running backs dash, to score long touchdowns against their foe

I was indeed dreaming, as it was clear very early on that Iowa stood no chance against Stanford. It was particularly evident every time Heisman runner-up McCaffrey touched the ball (which was often).  He set numerous Rose Bowl records as the Cardinal demolished the Hawkeyes, 45 - 16.  The one area that Iowa was victorious, however, was during halftime. Stanford's marching band was an embarrassment that didn't even belong on the field.  Forget the fact that they seem to try to offend someone every time they get the spotlight (this time they went after farmers in Iowa); I was simply offended by how bad they were.  They sounded awful and were about as organized as a group of escaped mental patients.  While I was disappointed by how poorly Iowa's football team represented the Big Ten, it was nothing compared to the shame Stanford and Pac-12 supporters should have felt after seeing the trash they put on the field for halftime.

5. You better watch out, you better not cry;  You better not pout, I'm telling you why; Florida's gonna score a touchdown

Yep, they did it!  What a victory for the Gators. They proved the doubters wrong, even though they lost... 41 - 7.  It was a moral victory?

College Football National Championship Recap

We already know how the title game turned out.  But what about my bold predictions?

1. Alabama defeats Clemson by two or more touchdowns

It was even closer than I expected, as the Tigers were able to move the ball pretty consistently against a stout Alabama defense.  Clemson held a 3-point lead heading into the fourth quarter, but a huge final 15 minutes for the Crimson Tide offense ended up swaying things in favor of Nick Saban's team.  Alabama scored 24 points in that last quarter, helped by a surprise on-side kick as well as a kickoff return for a touchdown.  Final score: 45 - 40.

2. Watson rushes for season-high yardage

The Clemson QB found success running and throwing against Alabama, but it wasn't quite enough.  And he really didn't come close to a season-high rushing total, with 73 yards.  But really it was special teams and a few blown coverages that doomed the Tigers.

3. The winner's margin of victory won't be as big as Buckeyes' in 2014 title game

As I predicted, it was much closer than the '14 championship game.  Clemson scored with 12 seconds left to pull within one score of the Tide, but failed to recover the ensuing on-side kick, and likely wouldn't have had enough time to score again even if they had gotten the ball back.

4. Derrick Henry goes off against Tigers, accumulating 200+ yards on the ground

He was very productive, particularly in the first half, but didn't quite reach the yardage for this prediction.  There are still plenty who think McCaffrey should have won the Heisman, I'm sure, but it's time for people to move on, whether they agree or not.

5. Fans express joyous support of the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission

There was no SEC chant in the stadium, probably because the Alabama football team has been good enough in recent years that they don't need to hide behind conference fandom like fans of other SEC teams do. But make no mistake, the SEC chant was heard loud and clear by anyone brave enough to venture into comment sections of sports websites in the hours and days following the title game.  I'm giving myself half credit on this one.
EDIT: Upon further review, I'm giving myself full credit for this one

National Championship record: 2 - 3
Overall record: 25.5 - 54.5

College Football National Championship Bold Predictions

1. Alabama defeats Clemson by two or more touchdowns

I went with the underdogs in round one of the playoffs, but I think the favored Crimson Tide come away with the title by a comfortable margin.  It should be a bit more competitive than both the semifinal games, with the contest staying close into the fourth quarter.  But a late Alabama touchdown gives them the win and another national championship to add to their resume.  Final score: 34 - 20.

2. Watson rushes for season-high yardage

 

 

The one thing the Tigers have going for them are the well-documented struggles of Alabama's defense when facing mobile quarterbacks.  The Clemson QB ran for a season-best 145 yards against Oklahoma in the Orange Bowl, after posting previous highs against North Carolina and South Carolina in the two preceding games.  I think he tops all his performances with another big day on the ground.  He'll find some success passing, too, but ultimately it won't be enough to take down Alabama.

3. The winner's margin of victory won't be as big as Buckeyes' in 2014 title game

Ohio State dominated Oregon in a way that I don't think either team will be able to match in this year's championship.  While I expect Alabama to win in impressive fashion, they won't look as good as the Bucks did a year ago.

4. Derrick Henry goes off against Tigers, accumulating 200+ yards on the ground

You can bet that the Alabama running back is hearing the whispers (and obnoxious yelling) saying that he shouldn't have won the Heisman.  I think all the talk of McCaffrey being robbed motivates Henry to possibly his biggest game of the year, as he runs all over Clemson.

5. Fans express joyous support of the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission

 

 

Why wouldn't they?  In the SEC's own words, they "protect investors, maintain fair, orderly, and efficient markets, and facilitate capital formation."  Sounds good to me.  And we can always count on fans of southern football programs to have abundant knowledge of complex economic principles and the ways that government agencies positively impact their lives.  At least, that's the conclusion I'm drawing based on the fact that we often hear chants of S-E-C ringing through the stadium during football games involving southern teams.  I think we might just hear some chanting on Monday as well.  Let's go market regulation!

College Football Playoff Semifinals Recap

The title game approaches, but first let's see how I did with my predictions for the semifinal round:

1. Clemson knocks off Oklahoma to stay undefeated

It was close at halftime, as the Sooners went to the locker room with a 1-point lead.  But the Tigers came out strong in the second half, shutting down Baker Mayfield and going on to score 21 unanswered points.  Deshaun Watson had a brilliant performance, as I expected, as Clemson won 37 - 17 and punched their ticket to the national championship game.

2. Michigan State triumphs over Alabama

Yeah... not quite.  The Spartans looked over-matched from start to finish.  They just couldn't seem to get anything going against a very good Alabama defense.  They had an opportunity to score before halftime before the game got out of hand, but an interception ended the drive and gave the momentum back to the Tide.  It was all downhill for MSU after that, and Alabama ended up winning 38 - 0 to setup a title game clash with Clemson.

3. CFP semifinal winners score at least 30 points fewer than last year's Ducks and Bucks

This one looked pretty good early on, as Clemson and Oklahoma were locked in a 17 - 16 battle after the first half of the Orange Bowl.  Even after the Tigers ended up winning with a score of 37 points, the prediction still had a pretty good shot with a 10 - 0 Alabama halftime lead in the Cotton Bowl .  But the Tide's four touchdowns in the second half of their victory was just enough to ruin this prediction, as Alabama and Clemson combined for 75 points in their wins, just 26 fewer than the semifinal winners of 2014.

4. Spartans hold Heisman winner Derrick Henry under 100 rushing yards

The one bright spot for Michigan State is that they were able to contain Henry even after Alabama built up a big lead.  However, their suspect secondary was torched all night by Tide QB Jake Coker.  While it didn't end up impacting the final outcome of the game, this prediction's success does lend credence to the popular notion that maybe Christian McCaffrey deserved the Heisman over Henry.

5. Orange Bowl announcers don't mention last year's 40 - 6 Russell Athletic Bowl blowout

They brought it up, if only to remind us that these weren't the same teams from a year ago.  The outcome was slightly better for Oklahoma this year, though the result was still a loss, and possibly a more painful one as it kept the Sooners from playing for a national title.

Playoff semifinals record: 2 -3
Overall record: 23.5 - 51.5