March Badness: Monster Madness - Round 1

The wait is over... Round 1 March Badness: Monster Madness results are in.

ICYMI: Explanation / list of contenders

Bioraptors (Pitch Black) vs Leonard Betts (The X-Files)

Betts was creepy, and his regenerative powers were pretty cool.  But the monsters that lurked in the darkness of the alien world in Pitch Black were more powerful and terrifying than the mutant from X-Files.

Winner: Bioraptors

Pale Man (Pan's Labyrinth) vs The Hydra (Hercules)

Pale Man is a terrifying new creation, while the Hydra is a creature of mythological origin.  The newcomer has the edge, in my opinion, as Pale Man is just plain freaky.

Winner: Pale Man

Stripe (Gremlins) vs Terror Dogs (Ghostbusters)

Vicious creatures face off here in a fun round one match-up.  Both Stripe and the terror dogs underwent a transformation to reach their final state.  But the fact that Stripe was mischievous even in his "cute" phase and eventually became the leader of an entire army of gremlins makes the difference here.

Winner: Stripe

Rodan (Rodan) vs Pinhead (Hellraiser)

Two very different monsters go head-to-head here.  Rodan is a giant flying reptile, while Pinhead is the leader of extra-dimensional creatures who travel to earth to harvest souls.  Pinhead wins this one, despite the marvelous personality of Rodan.

Winner: Pinhead

The birds (The Birds) vs Fluffy (Harry Potter)

The looming presence of the birds creates a feeling of uneasiness that is not easily topped.  They may not be flashy, but the birds have a classic appeal and a clear advantage over the three-headed dog.

Winner: The birds

Monstro (Pinocchio) vs The Basilisk (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

Giant whale vs giant serpent.  This time, the Harry Potter beast is the one with the advantage, as I just like the Basilisk better.

Winner:The Basilisk

Eugene Victor Tooms (The X-Files) vs Velociraptors (Jurassic Park)

Tooms is spooky, but the raptors are vicious and brutal killers.  They get the nod here.

Winner: Velociraptors

Mothra (Mothra) vs Mr Hyde (Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde)

It's a giant moth!

Winner: Mothra

Audrey II (Little Shop of Horrors) vs Clover (Cloverfield)

Clover does some serious damage to New York, but doesn't have a personality like Audrey II's. An evil plant that sings and eats people is just too good to pass up.

Winner: Audrey II

The Crawlers (The Descent) vs The Thing (The Thing)

I haven't seen The Descent, but I've seen a picture of a Crawler (above).

Winner: The Crawlers

T-Rex (Jurassic Park) vs Aragog (Harry Potter)

Though Aragog, a giant spider, is pretty terrifying to look at, he never actually harms anyone.  The T-Rex from Jurassic Park, on the other hand, eats his share of people.

Winner: T-Rex

Frankenstein's monster (Frankenstein) vs Werewolves (The Wolf Man, The Werewolf, An American Werewolf in London)

Both are classics, but I have to go with Frankenstein's monster here.

Winner: Frankenstein's monster

Sharptooth (The Land Before Time) vs Chernabog (Fantasia)

Chernabog may be the embodiment of evil, but Sharptooth goes after some adorable little dinos despite the fact that they would provide very little nutritional value to him.

Winner: Sharptooth

Pennywise (It) vs The Predator (Predator)

Evil clown or deadly alien hunter?  This is the first really tough decision in the tournament because I could see either of these creatures making a deep run, given the opportunity.  But only one can advance past round one.  Pennywise earns the victory here, based on his overwhelming creepiness.

Winner: Pennywise

The Balrog (Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring) vs Gmork (The Neverending story)

Flames: check.  Horns: check.  Awesomeness: check.  Gmork just doesn't match-up well here.

Winner: The Balrog

Christine (Christine) vs Gamera (Gamera)

Can Christine do this?

Winner: Gamera

Aquatic alien (The Faculty) vs The Kraken (Clash of the Titans)

Who's king of the water?  It has to be the Kraken.

Winner: The Kraken

Flukeman (The X-Files) vs The Blob (The Blob)

Somehow it's just hard to be too worried about a blob.

Winner: Flukeman

The Sandworms (Beetlejuice) vs The Bugs (Starship Troopers)

It would be bad enough to face one of the aliens from Starship Troopers, however, they often show up in endless waves.  The Sandworms are fun but they can't compete with the Bugs.

Winner: The Bugs

The Sarlacc (Star Wars: Return of the Jedi) vs Cesare (The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari)

You only see the mouth, but it's enough to know you don't want to go near the Sarlacc.

Winner: The Sarlacc

Giant crocodile (Lake Placid) vs Graboids (Tremors)

Graboids get the win based purely on originality.  I mean, giant worms with slightly smaller worms coming out of their mouths?  Giant crocodile, come back when you have smaller crocodiles coming out of your mouth.

Winner: Graboids

Ghosts (misc.) vs The Nothing (The Neverending story)

There are a lot of "good" evil spirits out there, but there's only one Nothing.

Winner: The Nothing

The Headless Horseman (The Legend of Sleepy Hollow) vs King Kong (King Kong)

This giant ape is not to be trifled with.

Winner: King Kong

Gill-man (The Creature from the Black Lagoon) vs The Brundlefly (The Fly)

One look at the Brundlefly would send anyone running screaming, even Gill-man.

Winner: The Brundlefly

Imhotep (The Mummy) vs The Rancor (Star Wars: Return of the Jedi)

The Rancor would gulp down Imhotep in one bite... maybe two.

Winner: The Rancor

Orcs (Lord of the Rings) vs The Blair Witch (The Blair Witch Project)

Parodies aside, who wasn't terrified the first time they watched The Blair Witch Project?

Winner: The Blair Witch

The Xenomorph (Alien) vs Zombies (Misc.)

Zombies are cool, but they just don't compare to the awesome creature from Alien.

Winner: The Xenomorph

Giant anaconda (Anaconda) vs The Crites (Critters)

The Crites have enough razor sharp teeth to make this not even a contest.

Winner: The Crites

Giant sharks (Deep Blue Sea) vs Rhedosaurus (The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms)

The giant sharks have the power of computer graphics, while the Rhedosaurus is really old school.  I've got to go with the classic here.

Winner: Rhedosaurus

The Silence (Doctor Who) vs Hybrid spiders (Arachnophobia)

Spiders win in a landslide.  Sorry, alien dudes.

Winner: Hybrid spiders

Jaws (Jaws) vs Cujo (Cujo)

All these other giant animals should take note of how Jaws, a true terror, does it.  Cujo is a menace but Jaws is a classic.

Winner: Jaws

Godzilla (Godzilla) vs Reavers (Firefly)

To most people, Reavers are terrifying, blood-thirsty killers.  To Godzilla?  Finger food.

Winner: Godzilla

The Bracket

After the first round, here's where we stand: