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Friday, August 21, 2015

How an Expanded Playoff Could Ruin College Football


Let me start by saying that I support playoff expansion.  I believe that it's inevitable and, as long as there are five major conferences,  necessary.  I won't delve into that debate, except to point out that eventual 2014 CFP champion and world beater Ohio State was nearly left out of the playoff field.  Take a minute to think about that.

While you were pondering that absurd notion, Ezekiel Elliot just scored another rushing touchdown against Oregon.

Now that you're on board with playoff expansion, let's get to the real issue at hand.  To me, the bigger question to me is not "if" or even "when" but "how".  The "how" of CFP expansion is something that could make or break the sport as we know it.

I've heard about a hundred different ideas for how to expand, so let's just focus on one popular variant from Michael Rosenberg of SI, outlined here.

The proposal goes like this:  Expand the field to 6 or 8 teams.  The champion of each Power 5 conference gets an automatic bid.  The remaining spots are at-large.  If we go with 6 teams, #1 and #2 get a first round bye.  If we have 8 teams, #1 through #4 get first round home-field advantage.   The idea is to make it more similar to the NFL's predictable playoff system.

I see the appeal.  It's simple and logical.  You know exactly what you need to do to reach the playoffs:  If you win your conference, you're in; If you don't, you still have a shot, but nothing is guaranteed.  There are a number of problems, though, and I think the best way to highlight those is to examine how this would have played out last season.

With a 6 team field, you would have had this year's final four (SEC champ Alabama, PAC-12 champ Oregon, ACC champ Florida State, and Big Ten champ Ohio State) plus Baylor and TCU (the Big 12 would be forced to select one to be the league champion, but it's logical to think that the other team would have earned the at-large bid).  With 8 teams, you would have the same 6 as above, plus Mississippi State and Michigan State (most likely), as they were the only other remaining Power 5 teams with less than 3 losses.  Both scenarios look great, right?

But, let's try something to illustrate a point.  Rewind back to November 29, 2014.  It's rivalry week, just 8 days before the CFP committee makes their final selections.  #1 Alabama faces Auburn in the Iron Bowl, #2 Oregon takes on Oregon State in the Civil War, #4 Florida State plays bitter rival Florida, and #5 Ohio State takes the field against Michigan in The Game.


For these teams, the stakes are higher than ever.  Win and they move one step closer to the playoffs, lose and they're all but eliminated from contention.  At least, that's how it is in the current system.  Now imagine we have the expanded system in place.  In the case of all of the aforementioned teams, they had clinched their division at the start of these games and, in turn, a spot in their respective conference championship.  So, any or all of them could have lost to their rival and still gone on to win their conference and make the playoffs via automatic bid.  The top 6 or 8 would essentially look the same (except for seeding, perhaps) regardless of the outcome of these games.

All of a sudden, rivalry week goes from one of the most exciting aspects of the college football season to a potential snooze-fest.  Sure, for the followers of teams involved in a specific rivalry the appeal remains; most die-hard fans will tell you a rivalry game trumps all else, and standings pretty much go out the window when they take the field.  But let's be honest, the standings still do matter, even to the most insanely passionate fan, perhaps more so if you think about it.  If any one of Auburn, Oregon State, Florida, or Michigan had pulled off the upset and knocked their respective rival out of the playoffs, don't you think it would have been that much sweeter for them, and that much harder for the other team to stomach, knowing a national championship was potentially on the line?  But with an expanded playoff the underdog could win that game and still watch their foe hoist the playoff trophy in January.

And for college football fans around the country, it makes a world of difference.  Do you think these rivalry games would have the same excitement factor if they didn't have playoff implications?  The 2014 edition of the Iron Bowl had the highest ratings of any regular season college football game on ESPN.  Ever.  Do you think that still would have been the case if it had no playoff implications?  If I'm an Ohio State fan or a Baylor fan or a TCU fan, I don't really care if Auburn beats Alabama if the Tide can get in the top 6 or 8 regardless.  But in today's system, you better believe every Buckeye, Bear, and Horned Frog was tuned in, screaming "War Damn Eagle" the whole time.

Sure, seeding would still be at stake, which could be a big advantage, depending on what kind of benefits are given.  But it's just not the same as the all-or-nothing mentality of college football today.  The chaos factor is one of the best parts of the sport.  I still remember a weekend in early December, 2007, when #1 Missouri and #2 West Virginia entered games against Oklahoma and Pitt, respectively, looking to clinch spots in the championship game.  In the span of a few hours both #1 and #2 lost and were out of title contention.  The result was pure madness, as multiple teams vied for the top two spots.  It was glorious fun that only college football could provide.  Please tell me the last time week 17 of the NFL schedule was that exciting or memorable.  I'll wait.


Speaking of NFL's week 17, could you imagine if coaches started treating rivalry week like that pathetic excuse for a football Sunday?  It might seem unfathomable now for coaches to sit key players in rivalry games, but imagine if the unthinkable happens and your team loses a star to injury in a game that essentially doesn't affect your chances at a national title.  Could you really blame the coach if the following year he errs on the side of caution and rests up some guys, especially any that are already dealing with lingering injuries?  Sure, it sounds awful, but playing your superhuman quarterback (who is actually 100% human and has gotten beat up all season) might secure a win against your rival but end up costing you a shot at a championship.  Remember: not everyone has a third-string quarterback who can step in for his first career start and do this.  The coach in such a situation would essentially be faced with the decision of playing to beat the rival or playing for a national championship.  The idea of any coach, player, or fan having to even consider such a dilemma is absolutely nauseating.

There's also the possibility that a conference champion would have no business even coming near a playoff.  In 2012, a five-loss Wisconsin team won the Big Ten.  The same year, 6-6 UCLA made the PAC-12 title game (and then got smashed by Oregon).  Of course, both cases were only possible because of NCAA sanctions against other teams, but it's happened before and it will happen again, and these are just the most extreme examples.  I don't know about you, but I want to avoid seeing a team with 3 or 4 losses getting hammered in the playoffs when a more worthy 1 or 2 loss team sits at home and watches.



Then, there is the matter of non-conference games.  With automatic bids to conference champs, the importance of such games goes way down.  Sure, coaches might be more willing to schedule tougher opponents, but at what cost?  Do I really care to watch a top-ten non-conference clash of the titans if both teams can go on and win their conference and get in the playoffs automatically anyway?  And while it is certainly possible to still make it into the playoffs in the current system after losing an early non-conference game (just ask the Buckeyes), the perspective at the time of the game is vastly different when you know a conference title earns an automatic berth.

Automatic bids just take away too much of the uncertainty that makes college football so exciting.  That's why the proposed solution (or any solution) which has conference champs getting a free pass just won't work.  For now, the current 4-team system will do just fine.  We will have to expand eventually, and I have some ideas for how to do it, which I will revisit in another post.  But whatever happens, the importance of rivalry week and non-conference games must be preserved.  There's too much tradition, and frankly, too much fun involved in both to devalue them in any way.  It won't be predictable, but if you want predictability, watch the NFL.  Me?  I'll take the unadulterated chaos of college football.

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

How To Talk About Popular TV Shows, Movies, and Books Without Spoiling Them For Others

Step 1: Don't Say Anything


That's it.  The end.

It might sound harsh, but the only way to truly avoid spoiling something is to keep your mouth shut.  When you're around someone who hasn't seen or read up to the same point as you, just don't say anything at all.

Talking in code or leaving out characters' names doesn't work (it's not nearly as cryptic as you might think):  "Could you believe when you-know-who got trampled by that llama?"  Now, the next time that person sees a llama on the show, all they're thinking is: OK, who's this camelid gonna flatten?  Of course, it may turn out that it's actually an alpaca and the llama-trampling doesn't happen until season 4 (Attack of the Llamas!), but the fact that they already have preconceived notions about what may or may not happen has changed the viewing experience.



Even a comment as innocent-sounding as "Man, Billy Bob is my favoritest character ever!" is spoiling something.  If the person talking is on book 5 of the series, and you're only on book 3, you've just had several things ruined.  Number one, you know that Billy Bob is still alive in book 5.  When you get to the ninja attack at the end of book 3, you know that he will survive.  Same with the nuclear blast in book 4.  You can also ascertain that Billy Bob hasn't done anything particularly despicable (like betray Princess Cucumber), else he probably wouldn't be someone's favorite character (there could be some debate on this point, though).

Posting something on social media like "Lizard Wars Season 3 finale... sad face" may seem harmless.  But every person who reads this who hasn't yet seen the finale just learned that something bad happens.  Part-way through the episode they may even be able to guess what that is, before it occurs.  Social media is the worst for spoilers, because it is very easy to stumble upon something unintentionally, and can ruin things for multiple people.



I know it's tempting to vent or to give your two cents after a particularly stirring or controversial episode - I've been there, too.   But please, try to refrain.  In person, talk privately with those who are at the same place as you.  Online, use extra caution, and when in doubt, don't post at all.  It's that simple.  If you care about not spoiling things for others, you will follow this one easy rule: don't say anything.

Thursday, April 9, 2015

March Badness - The Championship



It comes down to this.  Just two villains left.  Who is the ultimate baddie?  The Joker or Hannibal Lecter?

Previous rounds:
Explanation / List of contenders
Round 1
Round 2
Sour 16
Evil 8
Fiendish 4

The Joker (Batman, The Dark Knight) vs Hannibal Lecter (The Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal, Red Dragon)

I've already said a great deal about these two outstanding villains, so I'll let them do most of the talking in this final match-up.  The Joker goes first, when he puts on a nurse's outfit and finishes converting a good guy into a bad guy:

*WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS*


Next up, we have Hannibal meeting a senator to discuss Buffalo Bill.  He makes quite a first impression:


Next, the Joker asks: Why so serious?


Hannibal's turn:


The Joker shows us that no cell can hold him:

*WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS*


But Hannibal proves he can escape, too:

*WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS AND GRAPHIC VIOLENCE*


Even Joker enjoyed that performance by Dr. Lecter.


But he's not done:


And neither is Hannibal:


And the winner is...


The Joker


He's just too evil and too much fun.  Twisted and demented, the Joker makes other villains look pedestrian.  And despite his wickedness, he's extremely entertaining.

The Bracket:

Here it is.  The final bracket:


* - denotes a villain's name that was removed to avoid spoilers.  To see the real name, find the matching entry in the list of match-ups above and click the *SPOILER ALERT* link (only if you've already read or seen the book/movie/show or don't mind spoilers)

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

March Badness - Fiendish 4



Any of these last four villains have an argument for ultimate baddie.  But only two will meet in the final to earn that title.

Previous rounds:
Explanation / List of contenders
Round 1
Round 2
Sour 16
Evil 8

Emperor Palpatine (Star Wars) vs The Joker (Batman, The Dark Knight)

The scope of Palpatine's evil is broader than anyone's in the tournament.  He wants to conquer the galaxy and rule over all worlds with absolute dominance.  He constructs a device with the capability to obliterate entire planets.  However, while we can assume that Palpatine has always lusted for power, the same can't be said for the purity of his evil.  It's the dark side of the force that has corrupted him, turning him truly vile.  There is no magical force acting on The Joker.  He is simply a homicidal maniac.  But it's his style and the utter joy he feels wreaking havoc that really tips it his way.  As Alfred put it, "some men just want to watch the world burn."


Winner: The Joker



Hannibal Lecter (The Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal, Red Dragon) vs The Governor (The Walking Dead)

Hannibal does some messed up stuff (see the clip below).  And the thing is, he does it in a civilized world.  The Governor is despicable, there's no doubt about that, but you have to wonder if he would be as bad if you take away the zombie apocalypse.  He certainly wouldn't be going around killing people.  Dr. Lecter is evil, despite being educated and not really having a reason to kill and eat people.  He just likes it, I guess.

*WARNING: CONTAINS GRAPHIC/DISTURBING IMAGES*


Winner: Hannibal Lecter



The Bracket

The final match-up is set.  Here's what the bracket looks like heading into the championship:



* - denotes a villain's name that was removed to avoid spoilers.  To see the real name, find the matching entry in the list of match-ups above and click the *SPOILER ALERT* link (only if you've already read or seen the book/movie/show or don't mind spoilers)

Sunday, April 5, 2015

March Badness - Evil 8



We're down to the most evil of villains.  Only the baddest move on.

Previous rounds:
Explanation / List of contenders
Round 1
Round 2
Sour 16

President Snow (The Hunger Games) vs Emperor Palpatine (Star Wars)

Snow maintains a facade of kindness, but in reality his rule over Panem is filled with brutality and oppression.  Torture is a necessary ingredient to maintaining his power.  The Hunger Games are a sick ritual that he perpetuates to keep the fear-filled districts in line.  There is one thing he doesn't have, though: force lightning.

*WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS*


Winner: Emperor Palpatine



John Doe (Se7en) vs The Joker (Batman, The Dark Knight)


Both John Doe and the Joker are vicious killers, who turn their homicidal rampages into sick games.  The difference is the Joker doesn't care if he wins; he's just having a good time murdering, blowing things up, and spreading anarchy.  John Doe is driven by his mission of combating sin, in his own twisted way.  He is very serious about what he does.  The Joker is just having fun, and that's what gives him the advantage here.

Winner: The Joker



Hannibal Lecter (The Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal, Red Dragon) vs Pazuzu (The Exorcist)

These two both excel in sending chills down spines.  They have great moments that terrify and entertain all at once.  But when it comes down to it, Pazuzu is a demon - so it's in his nature to be evil.  Hannibal is a man who chooses to be a monster.  From the moment you meet him, you know he's not your run-of-the-mill bad guy.

*WARNING: CONTAINS GRAPHIC LANGUAGE*


Winner: Hannibal Lecter



Mr. Potter (It's a Wonderful Life) vs The Governor (The Walking Dead)

Potter is a cruel man, but he's the last remaining villain in the tournament who doesn't directly kill anyone.  He had a good run, but the Cinderella story comes to an end here.  He just can't compete with the likes of the despicable Governor.

Winner: The Governor



The Bracket


We're getting close to the end... here's the bracket after the Evil 8:


* - denotes a villain's name that was removed to avoid spoilers.  To see the real name, find the matching entry in the list of match-ups above and click the *SPOILER ALERT* link (only if you've already read or seen the book/movie/show or don't mind spoilers)

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

March Badness - Sour 16


March Badness is starting to heat up.  Who will survive the Sour 16 and advance to the next round?

Previous rounds:
Explanation / List of contenders
Round 1
Round 2

President Snow (The Hunger Games) vs Agent Smith (The Matrix)


Snow's questionable political tactics (poisoning his enemies) and deceptive propaganda puts him in a tier above Agent Smith.

Winner: President Snow



Emperor Palpatine (Star Wars) vs Loki (Thor, The Avengers)

The Emperor made Darth Vader.  Even though Vader lost to the Joker last round, he's still a top-notch villain.  Palpatine's conversion of a troubled young Jedi into a legendary Sith lord is enough to propel him past Loki.

Winner: Emperor Palpatine



John Doe (Se7en) vs Samara Morgan (The Ring)


Is it worse to be evil for no apparent reason (Samara) or to be evil and believe you're actually doing good (John Doe)?  I think in this case Doe's distorted world views and overall personality give him a slight edge, particularly during the movie's climax. "Become vengeance, David.  Become wrath."

Winner: John Doe



The Joker (Batman, The Dark Knight) vs Buffalo Bill (The Silence of the Lambs)

Both of these villains are twisted, psychopathic killers.  But it's the Joker's pure enjoyment over murder and chaos that sets him apart in this one.  "How about a magic trick?"


Winner: The Joker



Hannibal Lecter (The Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal, Red Dragon) vs Scar (The Lion King)

Scar murdered Mufasa in order to become a tyrant.  Hannibal killed and ate countless individuals, just because.  Mr. Lecter is clearly the badder of these two baddies.

Winner: Hannibal Lecter



Pazuzu (The Exorcist) vs *SPOILER ALERT* (Gone Girl)

Maybe it's just the recency of Gone Girl, but I just don't know if *SPOILER ALERT* has the kind of staying power to be a truly legendary villain.  Only time will tell.  The demon from The Exorcist has already proven his status as an iconic bad guy with incredible moments like this one. *WARNING: CONTAINS STRONGLY OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE AND GRAPHIC/DISTURBING IMAGES*


Winner: Pazuzu



*SPOILER ALERT* (2001: A Space Odyssey) vs Mr. Potter (It's a Wonderful Life)


These two villains don't have much in common, other than their timelessness. But when it comes down to it... *SPOILER ALERT*  Potter, on the other hand, is 100% self-serving and despicable.

Winner: Mr. Potter



Joffrey Baratheon (Game of Thrones) vs The Governor (The Walking Dead)

Both are easy to hate, but in reality Joffrey is just a spoiled little brat who inherits his power.  The Governor takes what he wants, when he wants.  And if things don't go his way, look out.  When he gets angry, he kills people... Even his own.

Winner: The Governor



The Bracket


At the conclusion of the Sour 16, here's the bracket:


* - denotes a villain's name that was removed to avoid spoilers.  To see the real name, find the matching entry in the list of match-ups above and click the *SPOILER ALERT* link (only if you've already read or seen the book/movie/show or don't mind spoilers)

Thursday, March 26, 2015

March Badness - Round 2


Round 2 is over!  Who is heinous enough to move on to the next round?

President Snow (The Hunger Games) vs Morgoth (The Silmarillion)


Two evil rulers face off, but only one can move on.  The twisted nature of the hunger games (exploiting child violence for entertainment purposes) is the difference-maker here.

Winner: President Snow



Bill Sikes (Oliver Twist) vs Agent Smith (The Matrix)

Agent Smith may be just a computer program, but somehow he transcends the usual limitations of AI villains.  Sikes is bad, but Smith is evil.

Winner: Agent Smith



Emperor Palpatine (Star Wars) vs *SPOILER ALERT* (The Shining)

We see both of these characters go through a transformation, as they succumb to evil.  But the scope of Palpatine's galactic conquest trumps "The Shinning" villain's insanity.

Winner: Emperor Palpatine



Loki (Thor, The Avengers) vs Biff Tannen (Back to the Future)


Similar to the previous match-up, this one features two villains operating on two very different levels.  Biff is a creep and a nuisance, but Loki threatens the very existence of humanity.

Winner: Loki



John Doe (Se7en) vs Nurse Ratched (One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest)

John Doe is a deranged man with a frighteningly strong conviction that he is doing God's work by murdering innocent people.  Nurse Ratched did some terrible things but she doesn't compare to the serial killer from "Se7en".


Winner: John Doe



Hans Gruber (Die Hard) vs Samara Morgan (The Ring)

Both are killers.  But for the second straight round, Samara's lack of motivation gives her an edge.  Gruber is cruel, but his motives are clear: greed drives him.  Samara is just pure evil.

Winner: Samara Morgan



The Joker (Batman, The Dark Knight) vs Darth Vader (Star Wars)


It's a crime that one of these villains won't make it past round 2, but that's the reality.  Both are legendary bad guys with immensely strong presences.  But when it comes down to it there was enough good still in Vader to have a change of heart in the end.  The Joker, on the other hand, is beyond redemption.

Winner: The Joker



Buffalo Bill (The Silence of the Lambs) vs Jafar (Aladdin)

Kidnap and murder put Buffalo Bill in another league.  Not to mention, he's just so creepy. "It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again."

Winner: Buffalo Bill



Ursula (The Little Mermaid) vs Hannibal Lecter (The Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal, Red Dragon)

As if the cannibalism aspect wasn't enough, Hannibal holds a certain power that captivates audiences.  You can't help but get chills when he speaks the name "Clarice".

Winner: Hannibal Lecter


Scar (The Lion King) vs The White Witch (The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe)

In the end, it came down to Scar's trickery.  He blames everything on Simba, and only reveals the truth of his most despicable deed when he thinks he's won (and seems to take a great deal of pleasure in it).


Winner: Scar



Jigsaw (Saw) vs Pazuzu (The Exorcist)


It's Pazuzu's pleasure in evil that puts this one away for the horrid demon.  Like the scene with the cross?  Wow.  Jigsaw is twisted but Pazuzu just goes one step further.

Winner: Pazuzu



*SPOILER ALERT* (Gone Girl) vs Dolores Umbridge (Harry Potter)

Umbridge does some awful things, but ultimately she's doing someone else's bidding.  The villain of "Gone Girl" is working independently, and is the mastermind behind it all.

Winner: "Gone Girl" villain



*SPOILER ALERT* (2001: A Space Odyssey) vs T-1000 (Terminator 2)

The video says it all.  *WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS*


Winner: "2001: A Space Odyssey" villain


Petyr Baelish / Littlefinger (Game of Thrones) vs Mr. Potter (It's a Wonderful Life)

Potter's blatant cruelty and insatiable greed at the expense of others give him a leg up in this round.

Winner: Mr. Potter



Cruella De Vil (101 Dalmatians) vs Joffrey Baratheon (Game of Thrones)


As much as I hate Cruella De Vil, I hate Joffrey more.

Winner: Joffrey Baratheon


The Governor (The Walking Dead) vs The Wicked Witch of the West (The Wizard of Oz)

The Wicked Witch is a classic baddie but the Governor has style.  His ruthlessness is what gets him the nod in round 2, though.

Winner: The Governor



The Bracket

After two rounds, the updated bracket looks like this:


* - denotes a villain's name that was removed to avoid spoilers.  To see the real name, find the matching entry in the list of match-ups above and click the *SPOILER ALERT* link (only if you've already read or seen the book/movie/show or don't mind spoilers)